I am announcing the awards for the Demmies (short for Democrat Emmies) today; meaning we will soon find out whether Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh wins the Obnoxious Blowhard of the Year award. If Limbaugh wins, it'll be his sixth straight year of winning this particular award. He is also eligible for the Annoying in-your-face Conservative Talk Show Host of the Year award, the Cranky Old Republican Geezer of the Year award (you can see why they're called the Demmies), and the Outspoken Crabby Wrinkled Right-Wing Old Fart of the Year award. The last two, however, will doubtless be won by John McCain.
Meanwhile, Stephan Colbert is eligible for the Best Double-Agent Republican-Democrat TV Show Host of the Year award and the Most Hair Shaved off on Live TV award (don't get this? Watch Colbert's Iraqi Operation on YouTube). Jon Stewart is eligible for the NEW Most Trusted Democrat Newscaster award, the Best Crack at Cracking Jim Cramer award, and the Weirdest Correspondent Jumble (thank you, Jon Oliver) award.
SO! Here it is! The moment of truth! In the political hemisphere, the Most Immediate Change Gone Through in 24 Hours award goes to President Obama!!! (Just imagine he's coming up to the podium, saying something, leaving, and giving the award to his CIA buddies to test for concealed explosives). The Happiest Goodbye Ever award goes to (former, thank God) President Bush!!! The Cranky Old Republican Geezer of the year award and the Outspoken Crabby Wrinkled Right-Wing Old Fart of the year awards go to John McCain!!! (Duh) Meanwhile, the Annoying in-your-face Conservative talk show host of the year award goes to..... Glenn Beck!!! But Rush Limbaugh once again claims the Obnoxious Blowhard of the Year award. Great. Moving on...
Stephan Colbert wins the Best Double-Agent Republican-Democrat TV Show Host of the Year award and the Most Hair Shaved off on Live TV award while Jon Stewart claims the NEW Most Trusted Democrat Newscaster award, the Best Crack at Cracking Jim Cramer award, and the Weirdest Correspondent Jumble award.
In theaters, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen wins Most Realistic Alien Robot Clash, Star Trek wins Best Re-producing of 1960's Idea, and G-Force wins Worst Blog Rip-off.
In Sports, Barry Bonds wins the Best Special Effects and Best Special DE- fects awards while AT&T park (home of the Giants) wins Best Ballpark Nachos.
And the moment you've been waiting for... THE RANDOM AWARDS!!!
In Argentina, Mark Sanford wins Longest Transcontinental Hike in one Weekend, in which he hiked from Top Rocker... to Rock Bottom. Sarah Palin wins the Stupidest Political Strategy award, Rod Blagojevich wins Best Elvis Impersonation By Deposed Governor, Dick Cheney and Joe Biden are STILL in a tie for Most Annoying VP, and China wins Biggest Feet. (What? Oh, right).
That's the Demmies!!! I'll see you soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment