I Reeeeally Don't Like Telemarketers...

I don't like telemarketers.

I don't HATE them. They're not as bad as those monkeys (mentioned previously). But really, I'm getting tired of them.

So here's the dialogue from the last telemarketing call I got:

Me: (picks up phone) YO!

Telemarketer: Hello, may I speak to the owner of your house?

Me: (clearing throat) Speaking. May I ask who this is?

Telemarketer: This is a political phone call.

Me: Uh-huh. Suuure, punk. You're all the same.

Telemarketer: Umm... what?

Me: Well, eat it, kid, I'm not gonna play along. We've all had enough of this. We have to suffer phone calls like this every day because of people like YOU. Prodem

Telemarketer: What's going on here?

Me: You should know.

Telemarketer: Who IS this?

Me: I have noooooo idea (hangs up).

Woe to the telemarketer who has to call me.

If I may also mention something, I'm twelve years old. I am not the owner of the house in any way (but I act like I am).

By the way, I accepted a job at BP as their press secretary. I guess they liked how I handled my own company, Vertco. Let me tell you the most recent developments:

I went to the beach and decided to drill for oil. After I got through to the softer sand below and named the rig Deepsh*t Horizon, I was doing pretty good, except for the fact that I hadn't struck any oil. Oopsies. So, anyway, I torched my rig and got the insurance money. KA-CHING!

Anyway, now that I work at BP as a press secretary, I need to tell EVERYONE that BP is completely innocent. HA!

Oops, I don't think I should'a done that.

Bye!