Vertco: Apparently a Meat-Packing Company

I just did the funniest thing I've ever done in my entire life.

As I said before, we're about to go up to Lassen, so I had to call ahead to the Safeway up there to see if they had any dry ice for our cooler (we're bringing hot dogs-- YEAH!). Here's the dialogue of the phone call.

Automated message: Hello. Thank you for calling your Safeway friends in Red Bluff, California. If you need to speak to our deli department, press one. For our floral section, press two. For our meats section, press three. For our fireplace and camping section, press four.

Me: (presses four)

Actual person: Hello, how can I help you?

Me: (in bad french accent) Hello, my name is Claude Deuxvisage. I have a large shipment of meat to bring up into Red Bluff for my company, Vertco. I was wondering if you had any dry ice for me to use as preservatives.

Actual person: Are you french?

Me: (still in bad french accent) Oui, madame.

Actual person: Well, hold on a second, I'll see what I can do for you.

(waiting music)

Another person: Hello, Mr. Deuxvisage?

Me: Oui.

Person: Yes, we do have dry ice here. Is there anything else?

Me: Oui. Do you have any large butcher's knives or surplus body bags?

Person: What?

Me: Goodbye.

That was incredibly fun. By the way, 'deuxvisage' is french for two-face.

Oh, and I saw T2 last night, it was AWESOME!!! That liquid metal guy is incredible. I need to ask the guys at Vertco to see if they can't build one of those.

Bye!

CLAUDE DEUXVISAGE