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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Osama bin Laden: Hide and Seek Champion, 2001-2011

Here are my STAR test answers for the CST Mathematics test (version 7). Read 'em and weep, California: DJCHBFBGDGAFCFCHDHDFBGCJBJBJDFBHAJCJAG. Wikileaks has NOTHING on this!
Everyone, the death of Osama bin Laden comes with even better news: We have another thing floating around in our oceans! YAAAY! See, Osama was buried at sea after DNA tests were run and his wife identified his body. So, let's put it up on the big board!
• Trash heap
• Three thousand... no, ten thousand... no, sixty thousand... oh, screw it, a hundred million barrels of oil.
RADIOACTIVE WATER!!!
• The remains of New Orleans
• 63 Vertco Minotaurs (don't ask. Just don't ask).
• And now, the corpse of the (former) most wanted man on Earth! BOOM!
I know I shouldn't be so happy about someone else's demise, but I can't help it. If you watch The Daily Show, Jon Stewart's reaction is SO EPIC! He's practically whooping and cheering, and you can tell even THAT is reserved. It's such the fitting end if you watch his post 9/11 show. Colbert, of course, stayed in character and threw a 'WE GOT OSAMA' party.
And this is why I've officially decided that this picture, while somewhat crass, best represents my feelings toward this whole thing:
And on that note, bye!

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