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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Health Scare Deformed

Don't pull the plug on my IV bag, it's time for my new feature, HEALTH SCARE DEFORMED. Today, HEALTH SCARE DEFORMED: The State of our Union. As we all know, our evil communist president Barack Obama gave his first state of the union yesternight, and I think we're all disappointed that he didn't punch Joe Wilson down the throat. But you can't expect perfection from anyone, even 'Barack the Magic Negro'. Seriously, someone called him that. So, anyway, our evil leader talked about national debt, the war in Iraq, and read his essay on 'Why John Boehner is a f*** a**hole'. By the way, Boehner had turned a very rich shade of orange by the end of the speech. But, of course, the thing on everyone's mind was Health Care Reform. Ah, s***. I actually begin to gag when I hear those words now. I'm getting so tired of Republicans just stalling and stalling and stalling, a process that would NEVER be compared with 'dithering'. Did you get the sarcasm there?
Today's TOPIC OF INTEREST is China. Even though we owe them money, our school is hosting 32 Chinese exchange students. My friend ______ (as you remember, I can't say anyone's name on this blog) is hosting a Chinese exchange student at his house. I think it's a deal he's worked out with the Chinese: He hosts them for two weeks, and he gets no taxes for money used to pay off our national debt to China. They're arriving on Sunday, so I'll do a blog about ______'s Chinese guest on Monday, which is when I'll first meet him.
Today's pearl of anti-wisdom: You can take a country to health care, but you can't make them accept it.
And now, I announce a new addition to our demographic board here at G-Force: Dr. Phil. He's also the host of our new segment, 'More Advice I Pulled Out Of My Ass'. Here's a pic:
I'll blog you soon!

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