I recently went to the Giant's World Series Super Splendorifious Epic Homecoming Parade of Awesome (for extended title version, visit Giants.com), and I took this awesome picture. Take a look:
That's Brian Wilson, for those of you who couldn't read the sign on the cable car. He's a pitcher for the Giants whose beard has a fan base of its own. I'd go into more detail, but if you want the full effect, just move to San Fransisco.
I'm running for president again, this time under the name Elephant Man. I'll conduct my campaign from funnytimes.com and use the word 'man' in the name Elephant Man to convince everyone I'm actually 47, not 13. This is my master plan. Then, once I've seized the government, I shall invade Canada---
Wait. I shouldn't be telling you this.
Bye!
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