Fart of Darkness

'Sup, loyal-esque followers! As you probably can see, I've made a few changes to the layout of this blog, which I think you'll like. The new typeface for the title is AWESOME. The orange also goes well with the Vertco Fall Lineup Sneak Peek picture I put up! But that's not the subject of today's post. Today's post is about something much more serious.

THE FART OF DARKNESS. About two weeks ago I was changing into my PE clothes in the locker room when something hit me that has changed and warped me for the rest of my life.

A fart. A deadly fart. The phrase 'Silent But Deadly' doesn't even BEGIN to cover how bad this thing smelled. I rolled on the floor, gagging, as I watched people around me dropping like flies, trying to breathe but unable to. I dragged my way through the room, my nostrils bleeding to death, and rolled towards an air vent. I reached it, pulled away the screen, and took a dozen huge gulps of air. I then ran back into the smog, holding my breath, and dragged several of my friends over to the door, where they stayed in a state of shock.

Of course, it's impossible to find the culprit. No sane man would EVER admit to that. Here's a pic:

This is the fart after it reached San Francisco. I can only imagine what kind of terror and havoc it wreaked before rising up into the ozone layer and dissipating.

Sayonara, Capybara!